Adventures with Finley

All my years as an adult I always thought dogs were fine. Never feeling the need to have one of my own. My brother had dogs and 3 children and I never had the desire for either of those things. For most of my earlier working years I worked long hours, days and nights, but I also liked to pick up and travel and move if I felt the urge. Having a dog never seemed to fit with my lifestyle. It wouldn’t be fair to the dog either, I always thought. And it would make my spontaneous impulsive travel and work life difficult. (This was the same rationale I used for children, but that’s another whole Substack post.)

So what brought on the sudden change of heart? A few things changed that made this seem like finally might be the right time. As some of you know, and I wrote about HERE, we recently moved back to Vermont. Only this time we are not living in an apartment as we had been, but in a 200 year old farmhouse, on a farm. We have a yard and we are working where we live. No commute.

Also, I don’t know if it’s a thing but you know how when women are a certain age (some women, as this never happened to me) they start looking at babies and wanting babies, maternal instinct, biological clock kind of thing? Well this started to happen to me in the last few years with dogs. Weird, right? I would see a certain dog and get that feeling. Would you call it canine instinct, doggie clock? Not really sure. At the same time Michael started to talk about us maybe thinking about a dog. He is able to come home for lunch, I could take the dog running with me. Were we really ready?

Well as things seem to happen in our lives. Synchronicity. One day while I was reading our local Front Porch Forum, which is a hyper local neighbor to neighbor newsletter, suddenly this dog was staring back at me from the screen and my heart melted a little. The woman wrote a lovely piece about how she was trying to find the perfect forever home for her daughter’s dog. He had a few issues, but nothing that sounded terrible. And those eyes! We decided to go over to her house and meet him and see how that went.

We got there and he greeted us at the door with barking and jumping, but we were warned he would do that. We sat down and chatted. She explained that her daughter had Finley for 2 years and sadly realized she couldn’t give Finley the life and home he needed. Finley was at our feet while we sat at the table and when we moved to the couch he cuddled right up to us. She told us all about him and his heartbreaking story. He was dropped off at a shelter with 10 other dogs in Virginia at 1 1/2 years old. He was now 4. He needed a home that was stable and could give him love. And she also said if things did not work out, she wanted to take him back and not have him end up in another shelter.

We left that day and said we would think about it all. Michael and I looked at the pros and cons and the changes that would happen to our lives. Were we ready for that? We decided we would do a trial and she would bring him to our house for a few hours and see how he liked things and how we liked things. That afternoon went well. One endearing habit is that he brings a shoe to us when we come into the house. As a show of appreciation, maybe? And so we decided the next visit would be an afternoon drop-off and then an overnight visit. He was such a good boy. He curled up in his crate and slept through the night. When she came the next morning to pick him up he seemed to want to stay, looking back at us, confused as to where he was going.

As soon as he was gone we missed the little guy’s presence in the house. We went back and forth again, pros and cons and decided we would make Finley a part of our family.

The morning he arrived he raced towards our front door and as soon as I opened it he ran inside, then all around the house, jumping on me excitedly, then giving me a shoe. He settled down after a few minutes and began smelling everything and then found a spot on the rug to curl up and rest. He seemed to feel right at home.

Over the next few days he became even more cuddly and lovable. Curling up on Michael’s lap at night or sitting at the end of my yoga mat in the morning doing his perfect version of downward dog. He let us know when he needed to go outside (which was almost never, I think he may be part camel.) Although initially he slept in his crate, he also took to sleeping in the living room, on a dog bed that a friend gave me or the armchair by the window that we deemed “Finley’s chair” so he could look out the window. (Not always a good idea, when the squirrels were around!)

We took him for walks and it was VERY obvious he needed some leash training. He was reactive to people, noises, cars, but especially animals. At a planned meeting with another dog on the farm, Finley was pulling, barking and lunging towards the other dog. Another day he saw two dogs off leash from a very good distance and he was visibly distressed and anxious, barking and pulling hard on his leash. It was obvious that he had some past trauma that was making him so anxious. Squirrels and birds also caused some anxiety. We carried a pocket full of treats and tried to work with it.

After a few attempts at some on leash ‘dog meet ups” we decided to give it another try but this time with a friend’s dog Ernie(who is also a service dog) and we would do it “off leash” to see how that went. Needless to say we were a bit nervous, but my friend assured us that his dog was non reactive and the perfect trial. We went out to an open field on the farm and Ernie was there first, running around off leash. Michael showed up with Finley on the leash and got the same response as usual with him pulling and barking. My friend suggested letting him off leash confident that Ernie would run off if things went south. Michael unleashed Finley and off he ran, he and Ernie frolicking, sniffing each other, chasing each other. It was absolutely incredible! They played like that off leash, getting muddy and tired until we decided it was enough. We returned to the house and the two dogs sat on the porch playing and sniffing and acting like normal dogs.

While I loved seeing this side of Finley, and as fun an afternoon as that was, I was starting to feel really anxious. Initially when we were talking pros and cons I worried that it would be a lot to take care of and maybe the novelty would wear off. Michael reassured me we were up to task if we wanted to give it a go. It may sound selfish, but I know myself (and my spontaneous nature) and taking care of myself is all I have wanted to worry about. I have a bit of an independent streak and also can be a bit impulsive (as you may have guessed from this Substack’s title.) Was I really up to taking care of this dog for 10 (or more) years. I was already growing to love the little guy. Was fear just stopping me from diving in and going for it? Or did I know myself well enough (finally at 63!) to know what I need and what is best for me and for Finley.

Michael was supportive and was not attached either way. He said we could work with the training, but we had to both be sure this was right for us. He had doubts as well. All those initial reasons I listed at the top of the post for never getting a dog (or a child) came flooding back.

Finally, just the other day, a week from bringing Finley into our home, we made the decision to call Finley’s grandmom and explain the situation, and that we think this might not be the perfect forever home that Finley needs. And that maybe I liked the idea of having a dog more than actually having a dog. She was completely understanding and we agreed we would keep Finley through the weekend as she was heading out of town.

We will spend the next few days getting lots of cuddles, giving lots of treats, going on walks and continue to work on training. And we have let his grandmom know that if she needs a dog sitter we are there for him, and will do whatever we can to help him find his forever home.

Thank you Finley for coming into our lives and letting us love you and also learning to let you go.

Thank you for being here with me today and reading my ramblings. Please let me know if you liked today’s post by tapping the “heart” and add a comment if anything in particular resonated with you. I always enjoy hearing from you! I am so incredibly grateful for all of my readers and subscribers, All of your likes, comments, and notes are truly an inspiration to me.