I sent a text the other morning to a friend wishing her a happy Marathon Monday! For non runners out there… this is the day the Boston Marathon is run. She sent me a text back telling me to enjoy it but she was out of town, and would be for while. Her text said “My brother passed away unexpectedly yesterday morning. I’ll be away for a while.” To say I felt ridiculous sending my marathon message is an understatement. But of course I had no idea at the time. I sent a text back immediately… “OMG! So sorry.” I mean what else is there to say. I didn’t want to ask more questions but of course I had them. All I knew was that he was not old or sick and it was sudden.
The next thing I felt was incredible sadness. For her, for her family. I had never met the brother but if he was anything like my friend I am sure he was a wonderful human. I went back to working but couldn’t shake the sadness. Why was I feeling this? Suddenly I realized that what happened to my friend could have happened to be me. I have a healthy younger brother (as far as I know.) We don’t come from a particularly emotional or close family. We talk on the phone monthly or so, checking in on life, nothing deep or philosophical just conversation. And I realized that I could wake up one morning and not be able to hear his voice or share a goofy story about mom or dad. Or the latest goings on with his kids or my running. And that was really why I felt the sadness.
So the next day I sent a quick text to him. “Got a sec?”
He picked up the phone and gave me call.
“Hey, I just wanted to say hello and hear your voice, because I can. And maybe one day I couldn’t.”
Then I shared my friend’s story. He thanked me for calling, we had our usual check in. Funny story about mom and then went on with each of our days.
I’m not telling this story to get you depressed or sad or feel guilty. But the older I get the more I realize that ordinary moments are everything. And so often I don’t really think about them. Because they are just that. Ordinary moments. I’m tired of wasting time on things that don’t mean anything. Or energy on people or things that don’t deserve my time. I felt a similar feeling after I had my traumatic eye injury . But then a few years later those feelings of savoring the moments fades away and we let the little things slip by. Until we are reminded again how precious this all is.
In a few minutes I will put on my running shoes and go for a little run in the sunshine on the sunny and warm April day, because I can. I will listen to my breathing and look for the buds on the trees and the crocus and daffodil blooms that are popping up around me. Feeling incredibly lucky that I can. And I encourage you to do something simple that you love or maybe pick up the phone or send a text to someone you are thinking about. I promise you it will make both your days better.
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I read this a few times before commenting. Living with no regrets is one of my daily prompts, which leads me to picking up the phone more often but still not often enough. I also txt first and sometimes the person on the other end will set up a date and time for chat. I find that funny but also it works. Thanks for encouraging me!
Thanks for the reminder, Ali 💕